Letter to my 20-year-old self
First of all, relax. I know you’re just about to head back to uni for…what is it now, third year?…and you have all your books and supplies and your 24/7 weekly timetable planned out to the quarter hour. That’s fine and all, but trust me, you’ll be a lot happier (and actually more productive) once you learn to let go a little more. Perfectionism is just slowing you down.
Next thing – and, now, you may want to sit down for this. You don’t get married at 24, as per your five-year plan. Or 27, as per your back-up plan. You’re actually still single. At 30.
Okay, I’ll just go and make a coffee while you process that one….
And I’m back. Okay, but the thing is – you’ll be really glad, genuinely from-your-gut thankful, that you got to do your 20s single. I know you can’t imagine feeling that way from where you are now, but here’s the thing – that’s not the big news. The really big news, and the reason you’ll be glad you got the time and space to walk this out, is this – you’re going to learn to let go of the past.
Actually, to be more specific, the past is going to come careening into you, crash tackle you to the floor, and give you little option but to deal with it head on. That baggage, that weight you’ve been carrying around in your heart for so long you can’t actually imagine what it would feel like to be free of it – that goes.
Not without a lot of hard work and good people and grace, but – yeah.
It’s pretty flipping awesome on this side. So even when everything blows up and falls apart at the same time and you don’t know how you can possibly go on like this – it just all means you’re getting closer to the light.
And trust me, once you’re in the light, you won’t ever want to go back.
There’s more great stuff – you’re going to actually get paid to travel internationally. I KNOW RIGHT!!
You’ll keep writing and directing, and you’ll start to find your voice, your style, in that.
You’ll learn how to stop being afraid that people will reject you, and start just embracing them instead.
Oh, and you DO get to tick ‘Get my Masters degree before I’m 30′ off our list. You’ll weigh up a few different subject areas – Ethics, Literature, History – but you’ll eventually settle on Theology. I’m so excited for you – you’re about to discover a passion that will make your heart and head come alive in a new way!
There’s so much for you to look forward to! But you do have some stuff to navigate between there and here, so just a few final reminders:
Keep close to God. He’s really not judging you the way you’re judging yourself, so do try to relax and enjoy him.
You’re going to learn how to do transparency better with your friends – the more you learn this, the better things get, so try to work on that. They’re judging you a lot less than you think too.
Stay connected to the Church. I know I don’t have to convince you of that one – I know your faith in the local church is absolute. Let me just encourage you that it still is today.
Oh, btw – you know Apple, that company that makes the pretty-coloured laptops? If you wanted to invest in a few shares…well, I’d really appreciate that…you know, in exchange for the sage advice.
Was worth a try.