Empathy: The Social Superpower That Changes Everything
In October 1962, the world held its breath. The Cuban Missile Crisis brought humanity to the edge of nuclear disaster, with tensions mounting between the United States and the Soviet Union. Yet, in the face of unimaginable pressure, disaster was averted.
How?
Empathy.
Through letters exchanged during the crisis, Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev repeatedly urged President John F. Kennedy to imagine himself in the Soviet position.
“What if we were to present to you such an ultimatum as you have presented to us… how would you react?”
“If you were in my place…”
“Consider how the USA would react to such conditions.”
Khrushchev also emphasized their shared humanity as leaders tasked with protecting their people:
“If you are really concerned about the peace and welfare of your people, then I, as the Chairman of the Council of Ministers, am concerned for my people. Moreover, the preservation of world peace should be our joint concern.”
Kennedy reciprocated with an empathetic approach, famously seen in one of his famous lines from a few months later, speaking of the US and the Soviet Union:
“So, let us not be blind to our differences—but let us also direct attention to our common interests… In the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children’s future. And we are all mortal.”
Empathy bridged the gap, shifted perspectives, and helped leaders find common ground when the stakes couldn’t have been higher.
Empathy in a Globalized World
Today, empathy is as essential as ever. In a world where we’re more interconnected but often more divided, the ability to step into someone else’s shoes isn’t just a relational skill—it’s a survival skill for navigating complexity.
But empathy, like any ability, needs deliberate attention to flourish.
Here’s why empathy feels scarce today and what we can do to cultivate it.
1. Why Empathy Feels Scarce
Narcissism Weakens Empathy
The more self-centred we become, the harder it is to make room for others. Anne Manne, in The Life of I, describes how narcissism manifests in behaviours like entitlement, exploitation, and an incessant need for validation—all of which choke empathy.
When we focus on our own needs above all else, we struggle to see and respond to the needs of others.
Empathy Is Declining
Studies by Sara Konrath and her team at Indiana University show that empathy among college students has dropped by 40% over the past 30 years, with the steepest decline occurring since 2000. Students today are less likely to agree with statements like, “I try to understand my friends better by imagining how things look from their perspective.”
Other studies like the 2016 ‘State of the Heart’ research done by Six Seconds into emotional intelligence show similar, though much less dramatic, declining empathy in the global population generally.
The rise of digital communication, coupled with less face-to-face interaction, may be playing a role in this decline.
Wealth Can Erode Empathy
Research by psychologists Paul Piff and Dacher Keltner reveals that as wealth increases, empathy tends to decrease. Wealthier individuals are less likely to notice the emotions of others, more likely to interrupt in conversations, and less likely to yield in traffic.
One explanation? Wealth often isolates people from the struggles of others, reducing opportunities to practice empathy. The Chronicle of Philanthropy found that wealthier individuals in homogenous, affluent neighborhoods gave less to charity than those in more socioeconomically diverse areas.
Busyness Stifles Empathy
In The Organised Mind, Daniel Levitin explains that our brains operate in two primary modes:
Central Executive Mode: Focused, task-oriented thinking.
Mind-Wandering Mode: Reflective, relational thinking.
Empathy thrives in the latter mode. But when we’re constantly rushing from task to task, we rob ourselves of the mental space required for deeper connection.
2. How to Cultivate Empathy
Listen Well
Empathy starts with intentional listening. Henry Cloud, in Integrity, provides a helpful framework:
“They talk → you experience them → you share what you have heard → they experience you as having heard them.”
It’s not enough to hear someone; we need to communicate back that we truly understand. This creates connection and trust.
Break the Echo Chamber
Online algorithms often reinforce our existing views, feeding us perspectives that align with our beliefs and preferences. To grow empathy, we need to seek out voices that challenge us—through books, conversations, and diverse experiences.
Read Literary Fiction
Research by David Comer Kidd and Emanuele Castano shows that reading literary fiction enhances empathy. By immersing ourselves in the inner worlds of characters, we strengthen our ability to understand the thoughts and emotions of others in real life.
Prioritize the Marginalized
Mohsin Hamid, in Discontent and Its Civilizations, writes:
“A country should be judged by how it treats its minorities… If we refuse to extend empathy to those who are different from us, we perpetuate injustice.”
Empathy requires us to center the voices of those who are often overlooked.
Create Margin
Empathy takes time. When we’re overloaded, we’re more likely to misjudge others and react impulsively. As Nicholas Carr explains in The Shallows:
“For moral decision-making about others’ situations, we need adequate time and reflection. If things are happening too fast, you may not fully experience emotions about others’ states.”
3. Why Empathy Matters
Anne Manne’s words are a sobering reminder:
“With empathy, cruelty is impossible.”
Empathy strengthens relationships, fuels effective leadership, and helps us navigate cultural divides. It challenges us to see people—not as problems to solve, but as individuals with stories worth understanding.
Certainly it is also important for globally effective leadership, as more and more of us work across borders and cultures, as Ken Cochrum details in ‘Close: Leading well across distance and culture’.
Whether in our homes, workplaces, or communities, empathy is the thread that holds us together.
The Empathy Challenge
Empathy isn’t just a feel-good virtue; it’s a skill that can be cultivated, practiced, and deployed.
So, who in your life needs your empathy today? Whose story do you need to listen to?
Let’s be the kind of leaders, friends, and neighbors who choose to see the world through someone else’s eyes. Because when we do, we don’t just change situations—we change ourselves.