Let’s Start at the Very… End? Why Writing Your Eulogy Could Be the Most Inspiring Thing You Do

At first glance, writing your eulogy might seem like a strange or even uncomfortable thing to do. After all, eulogies are what people hear about you when you’re gone, right? But here’s the thing: crafting your eulogy isn’t about the end of your life. It’s about how you’re living now. It’s about bringing clarity to your purpose and helping you focus on what really matters.

I’ve been writing and regularly reviewing my eulogy for almost three years now. It’s been a guide for setting goals and making decisions that line up with the person I want to become. My inspiration came from Donald Miller’s Hero On a Mission framework, which he unpacks in his book of the same name.

To get started, here are seven questions that can help you think about the life you want your eulogy to reflect and, in turn, how to make decisions and set goals that will create that kind of life.

1. What does my family say about who I was and what it was like having me in their lives?

Picture your family gathered together, sharing stories about you. What are they saying? What qualities and support did you bring into their lives? Thinking about this can help you focus on the kind of relationships you want to build with your family now.

2. What does my friendship circle look like, and what do they say about who I was and how I showed up in their lives?

Your friendships - especially the ones you invest in over decades - know you in a way that few do. They see how you show up, how you listen, how you celebrate and grieve with them. What would they say about your friendship? This question helps you see how you’re showing up for the people you choose to do life with.

3. What stood out most to people who knew me about how I treated them?

Think about the impression you leave on others. Are you known for kindness, generosity, or maybe just making people feel seen and valued? This is about the day-to-day interactions that determine what you leave behind.

4. What beliefs and values guided me, and how was this seen in how I lived my life?

What are the principles and values that guide you? Is there a faith that informs your life? And more importantly, do those beliefs show up in the way you live? It’s one thing to believe in something, but another to live it out consistently.

5. What was I most passionate about, and how was this seen in my life?

Your passions are what bring energy and meaning to your life. They’re the things you can’t stop talking about, the pursuits that light you up, the issues you want to find solutions for. When people look back, will it be clear what fired you up and how you lived it out?

6. What were my giftings, and how did I invest these?

Everyone has unique talents. The question is, what did you do with yours? Did you bury them, or did you use them to make life better for yourself and others? Your eulogy can be a reminder to lean into your strengths and make them count.

7. How did I make a difference in the world?

Ultimately, your eulogy is about the impact you had. Did you leave the world better than you found it? Did you invest in people, create something meaningful, or fight for something bigger than yourself? Thinking about this can help you focus on the legacy you’re building right now.

Bringing It All Together

Writing your eulogy is less about the words themselves and more about the vision they represent. It’s a way of stepping back and asking, “Am I becoming the person I want to be?” For me, it’s been a guide, a compass, and sometimes a wake-up call. Life is short, but it’s full of opportunities to create meaning, love deeply, and live fully.

Start with the end in mind. By envisioning the kind of story you want to tell, you can make choices today that align with that vision. This isn’t primarily about imagining your legacy; it’s about designing the path that ensures you live the kind of story you’ll be proud to look back on. So grab a notebook, take some time, and start writing. You might be surprised at how much clarity it brings to your goals and priorities. Who knows? It might just change the way you live your story.