Why Live Deliberately?
What’s the point of living deliberately? At the heart of the question lies something deeper: how do we craft a life that, when we look back on it, feels full, purposeful, and worth the journey?
I believe there’s an answer to that question. Across centuries, through philosophy, art, and science, there’s a consistent thread of what makes a life meaningful. By recognizing these threads and intentionally weaving them into the fabric of our days, we can live not just a busy life, but a deliberate one—a life that truly matters.
1. A Life Connected to Purpose
George Bernard Shaw captured it beautifully when he said:
“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”
Purpose is essential. When we’re tethered to something bigger than ourselves, life takes on a deeper meaning. Whether it’s raising a family, leading an organization, volunteering, or building something meaningful, purpose pulls us out of our own small world and connects us to something greater.
Without purpose, we risk drifting, never fully satisfied. But with it, we tap into what Shaw describes as “the true joy in life.”
2. A Life Connected to Others
If there’s one universal truth echoed in art, philosophy, and religion, it’s this: love and relationships are central to a meaningful life. Not just romantic love, but the full spectrum of connection—friendship, family, and selfless acts of care.
C.S. Lewis broke it down into “The Four Loves”:
Affection: Simple enjoyment of another’s company.
Friendship: The shared journey of kindred spirits.
Romantic Love: Deep and exclusive connection.
Agape: Selfless, sacrificial love for others.
Relationships matter. Study after study confirms what we know in our hearts—connections to others improve not just emotional health, but physical and mental well-being. One study even found a 50% increase in longevity for those with strong social ties.
But this isn’t just about quantity; it’s about quality. Choosing to live deliberately means investing in relationships that matter. When the winter of life comes, no one looks back and cherishes their isolation or their grudges. It’s the love we’ve given and received that defines us.
3. A Life Connected to Identity
Who are you when life shifts? When the job ends, the kids grow up, or the unexpected happens? A deliberate life is one that anchors identity not in transient roles or circumstances but in something deeper.
Eleanor Roosevelt put it this way -
“Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else’s life, not even your own child’s.”
Living connected to identity means knowing who you are at your core. It means stepping away from the ever-changing tides of external validation and finding something solid. It’s a journey worth taking—not just for resilience in tough times but for the freedom to live authentically, regardless of what life throws your way.
4. A Life Connected to Meaning
What’s the point? The answer to that question—whatever it is for you—is what gives life its richness.
Meaning is about anchoring your life in what you believe is true, good, and worthy. It’s about discovering a “why” that shapes everything else. Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, wrote about this in Man’s Search for Meaning:
“There is nothing in the world, I venture to say, that would so effectively help one to survive even the worst conditions as the knowledge that there is a meaning in one’s life. … He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
Meaning doesn’t shield us from life’s challenges, but it does give us the strength to face them. Whether rooted in faith, ideals, or a commitment to others, meaning transforms every experience into something deeper.
The Invitation to a Deliberate Life
A deliberate life doesn’t just happen. It requires intention, reflection, and action.
Anchor yourself to a purpose that pulls you forward.
Nurture the relationships that matter most.
Ground your identity in something enduring.
Discover a source of meaning that’s worth living for.
None of these things are automatic, but they’re worth the effort. When we choose to live deliberately, we align our lives with what truly matters. And when the time comes to look back, we’ll see not just the passing of days but the crafting of a life well-lived.