Pain and Muscle Memory: How Past Pain Shapes Our Present Reactions
A few years ago, I was travelling overseas for work when something seemingly minor happened: I moved the wrong way, felt a twinge in my back, and shrugged it off. The next day, the pain worsened, but I was headed home—a long journey with multiple flights—so I pushed through.
By the time I reached my layover, slight panic was starting to set in. My muscles had seized up so badly that breathing was starting to become a fairly painful challenge. I asked very nicely to be put on an earlier flight, a very nice airline staff member took pity on me, and I made it home. Unfortunately, my journey didn’t end there. It took a week of heavy medication and careful rest before my back returned to normal.
Physically, that injury healed. My brain knew it was over. But apparently, my body didn’t get the whole memo.
When Pain Becomes Muscle Memory
Fast forward to a few weeks ago: after a very long video meeting hunched over my laptop, I noticed some minor upper back soreness. Totally normal, right? Except, over the next few days, the muscles started to lock up—painful and restricting movement in ways that didn’t match the mild strain.
Confused, I went to a physiotherapist. He examined me and said there was nothing wrong—no damage, no pinched nerve, no misalignment. Then he added something that stopped me in my tracks:
“Your muscles remembered what happened last time.”
The pain I felt wasn’t from my current situation—it was from my body’s memory of the injury from years ago. The muscles overreacted, shutting down to “protect” me from a threat that didn’t actually exist this time.
The Past Pain Lens
How often do we do the same thing emotionally?
When something mildly stressful or challenging happens in our present, we react as though we’re back in a deeply painful past experience. Instead of responding to what’s real, we shut down or overreact because of what once was.
A critical comment from a colleague might bring back memories of a toxic boss.
A small misunderstanding with a loved one could reopen wounds from a broken relationship.
A minor failure might feel like confirmation of old fears that you’ll never measure up.
Our past pain becomes a lens, distorting the present and amplifying its impact.
Ask the Right Questions
So how do we stop past pain from dictating our present? Just like with my back, we need to examine the “muscle memory” of our emotional reactions. Here are a few questions to help reframe our perspective:
Does the strength of my reaction match the situation?
Am I responding proportionally, or does this feel bigger than it is?Would most people have the same reaction?
Sometimes a step back can reveal when our response is out of sync with reality.Does this remind me of anything painful from the past?
Identifying connections can help separate past hurts from present challenges.Is there unresolved pain from a different situation?
Sometimes, emotions spill over from unrelated experiences we haven’t fully processed.
The Power of Healing
Just like an old physical injury might need a professional’s care, unresolved emotional pain can require the guidance of a therapist. Therapy isn’t just for crisis moments—it’s a proactive tool to help us process pain, whether it’s from the past or present, so it doesn’t carry forward into the future.
And the earlier we address it, the better. Just as untreated physical injuries can lead to long-term complications, unprocessed emotional pain can solidify into unhelpful patterns, influencing how we navigate relationships, work, and challenges.
Crafting Deliberate Responses
We can’t always control our initial reactions, but we can learn to shape our responses. Here are some things I try to remind myself of:
Pause and reflect before reacting.
Identify whether your reaction is rooted in the present or colored by the past.
Seek professional help when needed to untangle complex emotions or deep pain.
By doing this, we can move beyond the knee-jerk reflexes of past pain and into a space of clarity, growth, and intentionality.
Moving Forward
Pain—physical or emotional—doesn’t have to define us. When we acknowledge it, process it, and choose to respond rather than react, we reclaim control over our lives. The past can inform our growth, but it doesn’t have to dictate our future.
Ask yourself: Where might past pain be shaping your present reactions? What steps can you take today to respond deliberately rather than react instinctively?
When we intentionally address the echoes of old wounds, we can move forward lighter, freer, and more aligned with the life we want to lead.